From Tumblr:

One of the biggest power moves I have here in the midwest when someone is being racist, sexist, homophobic is that I tell them that I’ll pray for them so that god can grace them with empathy, or that “I feel sorry the devil has made his home in your heart” cause you have not felt joy until you’ve flipped the script on a suburban house mom or an old racist white man. The joy of watching their face in shock and confusion while they’re called out in Christian Standards the same way they try to cover for their homophobia is amazing. 100% suggest it, at the very least it gets them to shut the fuck up.

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I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas:

I’ve been red-pilled, but I think The Matrix was just okay. I voted for Trump, but I respect Democrats like John Fetterman who are willing to reach across the aisle to promote ethnic cleansing. And I’m still a Bernie fan, even though I openly mock AOC and Elizabeth Warren for subscribing to 90 percent of the same policies, for reasons, I assure you, I will never ask myself a single hard question about, because I’m not bound by your restrictive mental framework.

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What It Feels Like, Right Now:

Living here in America right now feels like that time.

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Are People Bad At Their Jobs….or Are The Jobs Just Bad?:

If everyone’s good at their job, shop there. If you need help with something, find a local company or self-employed person to pay directly — and tip them. If something feels like a massive deal, someone or some part of the earth is paying steeply for it, and chances are high you will pay more for it (in replacement costs, in labor, in time) later. And if you’re forced to use a company with bad services and bad products, the fault is very rarely the worker themselves, but the organization that makes it so difficult for them to be good at their job.

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I Am Asking Aaron Rodgers, Once And For All, To Leave My Team The Fuck Alone:

You don’t build yourself a fancy new house and then paint it in diarrhea.

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Quentin Grimes Is The Tragicomic Protagonist Of The Terminal NBA Season:

… I am charmed by a trade that could turn out to have hurt both teams while helping a player’s career in the process.

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An Interview With My Cat About His Most Annoying Behaviors:

We often quote a decade-old Adam Serwer tweet about his own cats: Management doesn’t need a union.

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After hearing about the grim men’s lifestyle, I have a way to describe how I felt when I went to the club in college.

Paul Pierce Loses ESPN Gig After Broadcasting Grim Men’s Evening:

From a now-deleted Reddit post:

I stumbled onto this subreddit looking for tips on running a basic Plex server, and holy shit, you people are insane. Instead of finding normal humans, I find complete psychos debating ZFS configurations like they’re discussing fine wine. “Ah yes, this RAIDZ2 has subtle notes of data integrity.” You are all a bunch of sick vitamin D deficient freaks.

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Aaron Rodgers’s Jets Tenure Ended In True Jets Fashion:

His mistake (well, his most enduring, anyway) was in thinking that because he was him, he could raise the Titanic with a spoon. He didn’t make the Jets better, they made him worse, and though he tried to turn his legacy into a paper towel by being the humorless contrarian and foe of all things provably true, all he really did was remind us that the Jets are never not going to Jet,

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Salesforce Is Using A Hallucination To Sell AI:

… why—for the love of God, why—would McConaughey let himself be seated outside during this downpour? Why has he decided to be complicit in his own abjection?

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Masai Ujiri Continues His Baffling Wing Collection:

Ujiri seemed to enjoy team-building under an Oulipo constraint.

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The Future Is Too Easy:

There is something unstable at the most basic level about any space with too much capitalism happening in it.

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This is a compilation of the best Jaguars comments from Drew Magary and others on Deadspin and Defector.

Why Your Team Sucks 2013: Jacksonville Jaguars:

Jimmy Butler is a Toxic Ex:

Butler is not a people pleaser. He’s not for everybody. On the one hand, he strikes me as a no-nonsense guy. On the other hand, he tends to bring about a good deal of nonsense.

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The Raiders were so trash that they once ended up with a 3rd and 48 against the Chiefs

• Oakland Raiders had 3rd and 48 against the Kansas City Chiefs

In true Raiders fashion, they were driving toward the wrong end zone.

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Ingredients for 21 year old Muneer to have a great time:

WITH strip_club AS 
(SELECT *
FROM world.gentlemansclubs
WHERE dancer.status != 'pregnant'
	AND cover.charge IS NULL),
WITH shawtys AS
(SELECT *
FROM world.women
WHERE bitchy IS NULL
	AND MAX(DTF)
	AND MIN(commitment)
	AND clinger.stage < 5)
liquor AS
(SELECT *
FROM world.drinks
WHERE liquor.type NOT IN(‘wine’,’tequila’),
WITH video_games AS
(SELECT *
FROM games.systems
WHERE systems.type NOT IN(‘Atari 2600’, ‘Commodore 64’)
	AND game.title != ‘Battletoads’),
SELECT *
FROM tear_da_club_up
LEFT JOIN shawtys
LEFT JOIN strip_club
LEFT JOIN liquor
LEFT JOIN video_games
ORDER BY fun DESC