How Squints From "The Sandlot" Caused The Dumbening Of America
I have determined that the dumbening of America can be directly attributed to the movie “The Sandlot”.
In the movie, there is a scene where a nerd named Squints fakes drowning. When hot lifeguard Wendy Peffercorn begins performing CPR on Squints, he unexpectedly kisses her. She is horrified and kicks Squints and his friends out of the pool.
After the movie was released, all the hot lifeguards said, “That’s not going to be me!” So, in an effort to avoid being “Sandlotted”, the hot lifeguards let drowning nerds die instead of attempting mouth to mouth.
From the time the movie was released until it left our national consciousness (estimated at 2002), countless future scientists, engineers and doctors perished in the public pools dotting this great land.
Because of Squints, we now have Sarah Palin and Louie Gohmert in positions of power.