Educate and horrify

A classic line from The Simpsons:

“There’s no need to murmur, ma’am. Here at Itchy and Scratchy Land we’re just as concerned about violence as you are. That’s why we’re always careful to show the consequences of deadly mayhem, so that we may educate as well as horrify.”

Getting valued the right way

My pal Jen sent me the following story:

"A father said to his daughter “You graduated with honors, here is a car I acquired many years ago. It is several years old, but before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you. The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because it looks very worn out.”



Judge Lynn Toler from Divorce Court said the following to a guy who claimed he liked to make it rain at the strip club:

At $7.25 an hour, how much precipitation can you cause?


Maybe they're just terrible people

I'm fascinated by trolls, mainly because a former friend became one. It's interesting to read about the darkness that resides within these people.

Troll with it:

...the data exposed a quite different reality: internet tossers are just tossers, whether online or in real life.

In other words: the internet isn’t making people rotten, it’s just handing the rotten people a bigger microphone.


Get the details right

From Mastermind, a James Bond villain-level hacker had the following exchange at his trial:

Q. And, for example, you ordered the murder of a Filipino customs agent, correct?

A. That’s not correct.

Q. What is not correct about it?

A. The individual wasn’t a customs agent.

Thrilling and hilarious

who's on judge mathis today? #194:

greg dusts off his perry mason costume to say, “aha! that means you believed him, which means he isn’t lying and you’re here on behalf of a thief!” what was that sound? oh yeah, that was my bottom jaw s h a t t e r i n g against the floor. what a thrilling and hilarious trap!!!!! i really do be forgetting sometimes that greg is a real live trained lawyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!