I love Weird Celtics Twitter!
A few fun articles about it:
The short answer is that Time Lord is an ironic reference to a few slip-ups Williams made shortly after getting drafted by the Celtics, oversleeping a introductory conference call with reporters and subsequently missing a flight to Boston, as well as the team’s first practice.
In an attempt to support Williams and get under the skin of those “uptight” media figures, Hebert and friends began joking that the rookie hadn’t actually been late, per se, but was simply “operating on a different timeline concurrent to the one we are in,” like some sort of basketball-playing “Doctor Who” character.
On Semi Ojeleye:
DraftExpress had a graphic about Ojeleye’s ‘Thick, Jacked Frame’ and that he ‘Powers His Way To The Rim’ that nearly gave me a stroke when I saw it on draft night,” Hebert says. “The way body types have come to be described with buzzwords had always been absurd to me and this video breakdown was the greatest iteration. From then on, The Ojeleye Factory became the place you go to cultivate your Combat Muscle and hone your craft as a Strong Man of Sport.
On the since departed Kyrie Irving:
Kyrie had a Kobe-esque reputation as a disconnected gunner. I did not understand that Kyrie is a Spiritually Enlightened Pimp. He follows an Instagram page about Anarchist Farming and Chemtrails. He believes that an NBA season is not 82 games, but instead one Ultimate Game that lasts in perpetuity and that he is playing all games simultaneously so long as he doesn’t overreact. He’s Profoundly Funky. He is the prophet promised to Celtics Twitter in the Scrolls of Old and I am his MIND SHERPA, showing him the way of the riff and the shades and the cigarette.
The Ojeleye Factory was a piece of Soviet-style propaganda about [Semi’s] gym, where his pursuit of extreme biceps and triceps as a bench player was to be lionized like they lionized the industrial worker...