Judge Lynn Toler from Divorce Court said the following to a guy who claimed he liked to make it rain at the strip club:

At $7.25 an hour, how much precipitation can you cause?

I love Jon Bois' writing:

From Maureen Johnson's excellent new book, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village:

The interior of the main house is a puzzle box of danger built and redesigned so many times over the years that no one knows what the real layout is. It is madness, secrecy, and familial hatred made manifest.

This is the granddaddy of rap song translations. I think this was the first thing that was viral that I ever encountered.

What a life! I'll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o'clock flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o'clock. I'll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive reflection of my home town. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.

Someone entered this into Workday at my company as a skill.

Kevin Porter Jr. reportedly tried to protect Sterling Brown from assault

A member of the Houston Rockets was injured in an incident outside a strip club called The Booby Trap. Few names are so apt for a business.

I appreciate this man's dedication to late night barbequeing.

Separated Americans And Canadians Are 'Sex Tenting' Due To Customs Loophole:

They are not all just playing cards in those tents!

This is one of the funniest sketches I've seen on SNL in recent years.

The True Story of Donald Trump, Secret Action Hero:

This my favorite Tom the Dancing Bug joke ever