music

Smile

Scarface's verse could double as a eulogy at any funeral.

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Tip Toe

I can't co-sign for the content, but this is a real funky beat:

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Regulate synopses

Warren G's song "Regulate" has inspired a couple of epic summaries.

First, this is from Wikipedia:

Warren G is driving alone through Eastside, Long Beach, California at night, looking for women. He finds a group of men playing dice and tries to join them, but they pull out their guns and rob him instead. Thinking he's about to die, Warren G sings out, "if I had wings I would fly"; one critic describes this moment as "the hook" of the song.

Meanwhile, Nate Dogg is looking for Warren G. He passes a car full of women, who are so fixated on him that they crash their car. He finds Warren G and shoots at the robbers, dispersing them. The two friends then return to the women and ride away with them, with the intent of taking them to the "Eastside motel".

In the third verse, Warren and Nate explain their G-funk musical style; the song "constructs itself as inaugurating a new era"


Next, Sean Keane wrote my favorite rap synopsis ever:

The toughness and unstoppability of 213 also appears to be purely a function of Nate Dogg's badness and/or motherfuckerness. Saying that 213 is difficult to step to is sort of like saying that Barry Bonds and Benito Santiago combined to hit 62 home runs last year: it's true, but somewhat deceptive. Both Dogg and Bonds would be intimidating regardless of their partners. Dogg may as well say "Nate Dogg and Sean Keane have to regulate;" at least I've still got my watch.

One More Chance Translation

This is the granddaddy of rap song translations. I think this was the first thing that was viral that I ever encountered.

What a life! I'll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o'clock flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o'clock. I'll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive reflection of my home town. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.

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Translation of Bandz A Make Her Dance

Everyone knows I love a good rap song translation.

Here's one of Bandz A Make Her Dance by Juicy J:

Calling what I’ve spent on the women at this club a “tip” offends my sensibilities, considering it’s more than the average person sees in a year. If I haven’t already made it abundantly clear, allow me to spell it out: I’m rich—like, Bill Gates rich. To wit, the highest paid player on the Buffalo Bills doesn’t hold a candle to my nest egg. In summation, I’m as rich as Bill Gates, richer than the Buffalo Bills and my “tips” pay the bills so please address me as Bill henceforth.

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