I love me some Samantha Irby. I haven’t read her books, but if you haven’t subscribed to her Judge Mathis recap newsletter, get on that immediately.


First, this is how I describe my life:

i had to take a break because the universe won’t stop testing me, god’s weariest lieutenant…


Second, this should become my new strategy when it comes to interpersonal relationships:

after a while it was just too much drama for her to keep seeing him (her words: god don’t bless no mess!) and she is a businesswoman with a business to run so she told him to get his ass on.


Third, don’t let someone who you’re in a deep relationship convince you otherwise:

i’m sorry but if you need to receive faxes at my crib??? we’re doing a little more than just “kicking it.” i could see the judge’s face change as david started down this fuckboy road (FEMINIST KING) and he’s like “there’s no way you brought a keyboard and a fax machine over to this lady’s house if you weren’t living with her!” i know david thinks that it was just his phone and sweatsocks that lived with toni but sorry pal this don’t work like that! outdated technologies make you a resident!!!

Written on October 24, 2022