I really enjoyed this ghost story from agwitow:
It just became second nature to close all the cupboards first thing in the morning (even though they’d been closed the night before). Which was when things escalated from banging cupboard doors to actually breaking things.
Faucets, door handles, curtain rods ripped from the wall… all the repairs started to add up.
“Look, I didn’t mind having an ethereal roommate, but I can’t afford to keep fixing all this shit. Here’s a pencil and some paper. Just write what’s bothering you–I doubt you could put anything that would be more expensive than having a plumber come out to replace all the faucets again.”
The next morning there’s a scrawl line at the top of the page that devolved into an angry scribbling mess that tore through the page. Two cupboard doors were entirely ripped off.
“I don’t want to get someone in to banish you, but this is ridiculous. Just tell me what you want.”
The second piece of paper is ripped into shreds and several knives are embedded in the wall.
A careful examination of the paper scraps show that it had the same scribbles as the first piece.
A quick trip to the library and a stop at a store later, there are kindergarten workbooks on learning to write spread across the counter.
“Look, I don’t know if you’re just being difficult, but I hope not. So I got an audiobook on learning to read and write, and here are some workbooks for kids–don’t get mad–to teach them their letters. Just press play on the stereo, and work through the books at your own pace. I’ll get more when you finish.”
The first workbook is half-completed before being ripped to pieces, but at least there was no other damage. Replacing it is significantly cheaper than replacing cupboard doors.
It takes awhile, but eventually the workbooks progress to a fifth grade level. These ones are starting to be more costly (they’re bigger, for one thing), but it’s not even the money anymore. Little notes scrawled in a shaky hand appear on the steamy bathroom mirror
Have A gooD dy
Or written in ketchup on the counter (that was a frightening sight the first time)
You R out of MLK
And then one day there’s a message taped to the fridge. The spelling and penmanship isn’t the best, but it’s legible and even signed.
*Dear Occupente,
I have haunted this spot for ovr three huner hudre 300 years. My bones are dust and I am fergotN. I do not have wants to trap me. I am here 4 ever.
I am bord. Lonly.
I am sorrY 4 breaking things.
We be frends?
Syncerly Eloise
But every now and then, Katherine found something broken. A closet door that can’t open, a picture frame that fell off the wall, or a tap that drips. Nothing obviously Eloise’s doing, but after months of bad luck, Katherine had to ask.
“Eloise…are you still breaking things?”
There’s no note in the morning, but Katherine’s car keys are missing. She had to bus to work that day.
The ‘bad luck’ worsens. A pipe bursts and ruins Katherine’s new cellphone, a window has a rock thrown through it (though the rock was never found), the kettle shorted and started a small fire.
“Eloise, please tell me what’s wrong. Why are you upset? Here’s a new pad of paper and a set of gel pens. If you need company during the day I could get a cat or something. Just let me know what you need.”
The note in the morning isn’t in Eloise’s hand.
The child-ghost known as Eloise has been removed. She has been accused of breaking several of the statutes governing all post-death entities. Until her case has been decided, I have been assigned to serve your haunting needs.
Jeffery Price, Poltergeist
Katherine is distraught. She doesn’t want to get Eloise into more trouble by asking inappropriate questions, so she turns to a paranormal investigator. His office is in a run-down strip mall, but he had a 4 star Yelp review.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Denton. I’m Nathan Thomas. How can I help you?”
“My home is, or was, haunted by a ghost from the 1700s, but she’s been taken.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“My ghost apparently broke some rules and has been arrested or something,” Katherine explained. “I’m not sure what to do to get her back.”
Nathan stares at her. “You…want to have a ghost in your house?”
“Not just any ghost. I want Eloise back. Whoever took her left a poltergeist behind and I don’t particularly care for him.”
“I…are you sure someone isn’t playing an elaborate prank on you? Are you playing a prank on me?”
Katherine glares at him. “If you won’t help me, then I’ll find someone else.”
“Look, I think you’re being tricked, lying, or crazy, but my cousin is a medium. Maybe she can help you. She believes crazy stuff about ghost Illuminatis, so this is right up her alley. Here’s her number. Her name is Juanita Segura.”
Katherine is annoyed, but determined to help Eloise so she gives the medium a call. Juanita is immediately more helpful.
“Now it’s hard to know because ghosts don’t keep records we can access, but if your Eloise was meant to be a poltergeist and she stopped causing destruction to your property, she could have come to the attention of the GGB,” Juanita explains.
“GGB?”
“Ghost Governing Body. I don’t know what the ghosts call it, or if it’s even an actual government, but it seems appropriate.”
Katherine thinks back to personal before Eloise’s first letter. Things had certainly gotten bad for awhile, but it had started as cupboards banging and floors creaking during the night. Not what she pictured when she thought of poltergeist behaviour. It was also much more benign than the ‘tricks’ her replacement poltergeist was inflicting on her.
“I don’t think she was supposed to be a poltergeist.”
“Well, tell me more about her.”
Katherine talks about the stories she read and the notes Eloise left. She talked about how she’d set a second plate out at meals and watch as peas were pushed around the plate. She talked about having to get a second TV to play Disney movies for when she wanted to watch horror shows. And how her old stuffed animals were moved, one-by-one, to the spare bedroom.
“Hm…I’ve never heard of a ghost and human getting along so well before. Could be that there are rules to prevent it. I know who to ask though–my mentor.”
“How long will it take for them to get back to you?”
Juanita smiled. “He’s always answered promptly when I’ve summoned him.”
Together they made plans to meet the following night at the cemetery to call upon Juanita’s former mentor. The night fell, overcast and cold. Katherine is scared, but she can’t help but think how scared Eloise must be in whatever ghost jail they’ve thrown her in.
It’s a simple ritual to summon the old man’s ghost. In a matter of minutes, Katherine and Juanita are sitting across from a translucent form whose features waver with every tiny breeze. He doesn’t seem surprised by Juanita’s questions about Eloise.
“The child is one of the oldest living on earth without a specific purpose,” he tells them. “She predates the rules she’s accused of breaking, which is causing a bit of a fuss.”
“What rules did she break?” Katherine asked.
“Conversing with a human outside of a seance or summoning, revealing the ghost world to a non-medium, and befriending a human.”
Katherine immediately feels guilty.
Juanita asks, “Is there anything we can do to help?”
The old ghost scratches his chin. “I’m afraid there isn’t much she could do, but you might be able to help. If the child were summoned and bound by a medium, there’s not much the Council could do about it.”
“Well, Katherine,” Juantia smiles, “it looks like you and I are going to have shared custody of a ghost.”
The modern world had long fascinated Eloise, but she was a sickly child right up until the day she died. Death didn’t change much for her. Most people ignored her when she was alive, and most people ignored her now. At least she didn’t hurt all the time any more.
Unfortunately, her fear of the outside world kept her from ghostly exploration as surely as it kept her from moving on. Over the years she learned how to interact with the mortal world, and how to move between it and the ghostly realm (that had been a frightening month when she accidentally stumbled across the threshold for the first time–she thought she’d crossed over and landed in Hell). Through other ghosts she learnt more about the post-death world and watched as a Council was formed and rules were slowly developed.
She couldn’t imagine how the rules would apply to her, and so never paid them much mind.
The years passed and no definitive moment of readiness to cross over happened. She grew tired and frustrated. She started breaking things, trying to get the attention of the mortals living in the house built where she had been born, lived, and died. The first couple blamed “neighbourhood punks” for their misfortune and moved away after a year. Next was a family with two small children. Eloise was bitterly jealous of them. They only lasted two months. The house remained empty for two years before Katherine moved in.
Though their relationship started off rocky, Eloise was very happy once they became friends. She thought they would be friends forever, and that she’d never be alone again.
Then Mr. Connery, a ghoulish old ghost, came for a visit.
Eloise tried to remember what the rules were. She broke a spring in the closet door and stopped writing notes. Mr. Connery wrote her a warning. Eloise wasn’t sure what that meant (though she was proud that she could read it for herself)
Two weeks later, Mr. Connery returned with a ghost Eloise had never met before. “This is Jeffery, he is here to show you how to be a proper ghost.”
“I know how to be a ghost,” Eloise protested. “I’m older than you.”
“Mm,” Mr. Connery gave her a stern look so she knocked a picture off the wall. She felt guilty that the glass shattered when it hit the ground.
“This is your second warning, Eloise,” Mr. Connery said. “If you don’t take immediate actions to fix things, then I’m afraid you will face charges.”
Eloise stuck her tongue out at him. He bared his teeth at her and left. Jeffery remained.
“What are you still doing here? Go ‘way.”
“Mr. Connery told me I’m to stay here until you either change your behaviour or get arrested,” Jeffery said.
“You don’t have to listen to him. He just looks scary ‘cause he died in a fire. And he’s just mean ‘cause his wife set him on fire after he hit her too much,” Eloise said.
“You shouldn’t say such things,” Jeffery warned.
“Why not? They’re true.”
Jeffery glanced around, leaned down toward her, and whispered, “Mr. Connery is very likely going to be the next Chairman. You don’t want to be on his bad side.”
Eloise didn’t care. She didn’t like Mr. Connery, and she very much liked Katherine. She couldn’t think of a reason why being a nice person-ghost would be a bad thing.
Unfortunately, Jeffery is there when Katherine asks, “Eloise…are you still breaking things?”
Three policeghosts arrive and drag her to the ghostly realm an hour later. Jeffery looks sad, but Mr. Connery looks delighted to see Eloise with chains around her wrists. Hundreds of curious ghosts watch as she’s marched to the squat, grey building (though everything in the ghostly realm is shades of grey) where misbehaving ghosts are kept.
At first Eloise is angry. How dare they take her away from her home? But after two days her anger starts to fade and she starts to worry. She hasn’t seen anyone since they locked her in a cell the size of a linen closet. What if they leave her there forever? What if she never gets to see Katherine again?
She beats her fists against the door until her hands are insubstantial wisps. She screams and shouts until she can’t even moan. She cries until she feels so frail that a puff of breath would scatter her across the universe. And still they leave her in her prison.
Eloise isn’t sure how long it’s been, but she cries with relief when the door opens. Even though it’s Mr. Connery and two policeghosts, she’s so happy to see other souls that she smiles.
They take her to a domed building. She’s led to a large theatre and marched down to stand in front of the seven ghosts on the Council. The seats of the theatre are packed, and she wonders if every ghost in the world is there to watch her trial.
“You have been accused of breaking the core mandates of this council, as ratified in 1927. Mr. Connery stands as your accuser, and has already presented his evidence to this council. Do you have anything to say?”
“I don’t see how I did anything wrong. I was being a good ghost.”
Mr. Connery laughs. It’s like a dog’s angry bark. “You spoke to a human–not even a medium–outside of a summoning. And, worst of all, you became the human’s friend.”
A gasp runs through the watching crowd and Eloise’s shoulders hunch forward beneath the sound.
“Shouldn’t be nothing wrong with making friends,” Eloise mutters.
Mr. Connery looks triumphant. “You heard her, she’s practically admitted her guilt!”
“Patience, Mr. Connery,” an old ghost chides. “She may be one of the eldest among us, but she is still a child.”
Mr. Connery looks ready to spit poison.
“Eloise, would you please care to explain, in detail, the events that led up to Mr. Connery’s accusation?” the old man asks.
“Is that really necessary?” one of the other councilghosts asks.
“Oh it’s very important she take her time in explaining things,” the old man says with a knowing smile. “In fact, I think she should probably start with her personal and death.”
Eloise isn’t sure what the old man wants, but she slowly, haltingly, recounts her few years alive and how she died. She had just gotten to her haunting of the family with the children when she felt a strange tingle run through her. The world flickers.
“What is this?!” Mr. Connery shouts as the councilghosts and theatre flicker in and out of focus.
“Why…it looks like someone from the mortal world is summoning her…”
“This stinks of your apprentice’s work, you conniving bast–”
Mr. Connery’s words are lost as the world fades entirely. When it returns, Eloise finds herself standing in a familiar kitchen with an unfamiliar woman staring at her.
“El-Eloise?”
She turns and smiles at Katherine. Both of them have tears in their eyes.
“Thank you for bringing me home.”