Discussing how my pal E would raise kids:

E: i just feel like we've all become too soft that's all!!

Me: E going to see her kid when she gives birth and instead of cuddling the baby, she'll yell at it to drop down and give her 20

Z: "dont look at me, it took you 38 weeks to grow limbs and organs. Some kids do it in 26. Freaking loser!"

E: i've been told by so many people i would be a mean mom, so i might just skip out on having any of them rascals

Me: E smoking a Black and Mild at the playground while her kid playing dice with the other kids. She'll be like, "YOU BETTER HAVE AT LEAST $200 OR MAMA AIN'T TAKING YO RAGGEDY BEHIND HOME!" She stops cursing once she's sure the kids knows all the words. A fisherman puts away the bait when he's caught the blue marlins

Z: I am not sure how this turned from "let's start an initiative to bring positivity and possibly blanket forts to the workspace" into Emily would be a "white trash" parent with questionable habits and morals. but . . . i'm here for it. lol

E: also i would like to point out, i would not be TRASHY, i would just be mean and strict. because it helps build character. but i like how Muneer thinks i would just be so ghetto

Me: Sorry! I went to loving but mildly abusive. I should have gone to Downton Abbey for my portrayals of E's parental style. She's more frigid dowager than Florida woman.