I got married about a month ago, and would have preferred that we just go to a judge's office and get it done over lunch. My wife's mother had other ideas, so we ended up with 29 people at a gazebo near the county courthouse. Afterwards, we took everyone to lunch.

When we were talking about the options for the ceremony, I told my wife that I don't want a bunch of hoopla right now, because we haven't accomplished anything as a couple. I told her if she really wants a big party with all the family there, I will be happy to do so for our 25th anniversary. She agrees (which is why we're suited well for each other).

I probably still have some PTSD from my sister's "big" wedding. That was a whole summer of my parents screaming at each other and becoming so overwhelmed that they stopped doing anything to execute the wedding, guilting me into spending my student loan money on home repairs, and my sister acting very blase and unconcerned about the whole thing. So, I had to step in and do everything a wedding planner, mother and normal bride would do themselves. The wedding week itself was a hellish blur of getting yelled at by my mom and dad, driving around in the humid Midwest summer, and hearing relatives snark about things that went wrong. That week, I was going to sleep at 2am and getting up at 5.30am to pull a full day of doing all the ceremonial and logistical stuff that no one else seemed to be arsed about. It got to the point that after the night of the first wedding function (we're South Asian), I went to a nightclub with my sister and cousins and slept in the corner because I was so exhausted. I am extremely against "big" weddings for this reason.

Every "big" wedding I've ever been to has been a tense and joyless affair. I had no desire to replicate that and spend a bunch of money that could be better used elsewhere.