I woke up at like 5 as I usually do. Monkey hops up on the bed and won't stop meowing at me. So I got up to go downstairs. The moment I do so, he starts nuzzling my wife and flops over and starts purring.

He was basically like, "Ay playa, me and the lady need some privacy."

I came back up to get ready for work, and he starts meowing at me again, like, "I thought we talked about this."