Talking to a few folks at work about the MLB trade deadline, I said the following:

Draftkings' Fraud Detection Department was the only team that could end the Guardians' dominance in the division.

Only way we get an impact hitter is if JJ has compromising photos of Jerry Reinsdorf and Chris Getz, and forces them to send Luis Robert over.

Just acquired another SP, Bailey Falter, from the Pirates. Apparently, the plan went from fixing the offense to beefing up the pitching and not having to score any runs moving forward.

They did end up getting Mike Yastremski. Maybe they're setting up ouija boards in the clubhouse to see if the spirit of his grandpa, Carl, can possess MJ and the other trash hitters and get them to see the ball better.