"Carson Wentz internal monologue:

"Well Carson... you gave it your best. And that's all that counts. Golly gee, no one can take that from ya, fella."

"That was your best? Christ. You disgust me."

"Who... who said that?"

"It's me, Carson. Max Brosmer. I have telepathy. Didn't they tell you? Been listening in on these little post-loss pep talks all season. Bro... cringe."

"Wait... so you've heard—"

"Everything. The victory speech you rehearsed when you thought you were gonna beat the Eagles. The fantasy where Jets hugs you and says 'You're the QB I never had.' Hard to stomach, but I heard every sad syllable in that porcelain doll brain of yours."

"Wait... so you heard what I was thinking in the—"

"The showers? Oh yeah, chief. Why do you think I scrubbed next to you for twenty straight minutes? I needed you to see what a real apex predator looks like. Mental warfare, baby. Gotta keep you rattled."

"But why? Why torment me like this?"

"Shhhhh. Ice your shoulder, Carson and relax. It's all over now. Let Maxy take it from here. I'll see you in the showers."