Night Night For Narcoleptic Napoleon:

...yesterday, the President of the United States, a man allegedly in charge of a nuclear arsenal and not the early bird special at Golden Corral, held a fully televised Cabinet meeting after staying up all night shitposting like a sleep paralyzed warlock fighting imaginary goblins on Truth Social until dawn.

Trump was asleep. Fully asleep. Full REM cycle snore farting asleep. The NodFather. Don Snoreleone. The human sleep mode. The seventy nine year old toddler dreaming his presidential fantasies behind eyelids that looked like two slices of warm bologna stapled to a dying flashlight.

This man was not resting his eyes. He was not thinking deeply. He was gone. Astral projecting into whatever rotting carnival of imagery his mind cooks up when left unattended. Probably something involving whales going loco, the most beautiful toilet water ever seen by man, big strong men crying sir sir how do you get such wet water sir, and of course his adult daughter’s fake tits, the ones he told her to get.