Made up this story about a pal:

You’ll be sitting at home this time next year. As you look around, you’ll only see things you love.

It will then be revealed that I have become a Cyrano de Bergerac like figure for J. I’ve been telling him what to buy for the house.

You’ll look him in the eyes and scream, “WHAT HASN’T HE TOLD YOU TO BUY????”

J will look down at the floor and whisper, “Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to.”