Encyclopedia Muneerica

I Have Created A Turkey Fiend:

Tuesday morning she posts up, staring intensely at me, swishing the tip of her tail in frustration. She is not meowing. She is locked in. She is furious. I do not think she knows exactly what she’s mad at me for, beyond that I have previously displayed the ability to provide her with turkey, and I am not currently doing that.

My coworkers/cat’s enablers tell me that I should purchase more turkey, so that I can give it to her. I resist this. I will not give in to terrorism. It has cost me peace and sleep, but I know the price of giving in will be steeper than I can bear.

I am prisoner in my own home—a prisoner of the memory of turkey.