On people saying they can't cut off a MAGA: Anytime I tell someone to just stop talking to the MAGAs in their family, I’m met with “But that’s my [family relation]! They were normal 20 years ago!...

Post 9/11 was when my life totally changed. DHS was established so that we could have security theater at all the airports and make it tougher for people with Muslim names. I was “randomly screened”...

A lady I knew at my old job who worked in a HR adjacent job said she appreciated my ability to get right up to the line but never cross it.

When we were going on our honeymoon, we were apparently booked at the same hotel as an international swingers group. Swingers were everywhere, including the restaurant. I thought it was really odd...

My nephew has a girlfriend and they're both 15. They recently went to some school dance. This little girl was wearing a dress that had a slit halfway up her leg and then it was also a little low-cut....

The event that made me swear off lawns entirely occurred in 2009. It was like 109 heat index. My mom was here for the summer from Saudi Arabia. I get home from work, and she hounds me to mow the lawn...

A fan of my podcast, Hamsterdam, made this. Still one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me.